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That one big love or several short ones?

Part 1/2 ‘Love as a mirror of escapism:’

Escapism is so deeply intertwined in our daily lives that we hardly recognize it.

For those who don’t know it: escapism means temporarily escaping from everyday life by losing yourself in other worlds, ideas or emotions.

Every week I take you to a different facet of this phenomenon. And believe me, you will be amazed at how decisive escapism has become in our culture.

Let this be clear: for me, escapism is not a replacement for life nor an escape from problems, but a valuable addition to life: a break, a moment to step outside of daily reality for a while.

Love as a mirror of escapism.

Today we focus on love.

Do we choose that one big love, or several short ones?

A better example than Emily in Paris is hard to find. Most know Emily from Netflix by now.

But who knows Koba, her counterpart and main character in La Demoiselle d’Avignon? This series was hot fifty years ago. Just like Emily in Paris now.

Together they show how our experience of love and love has shifted over the past fifty years. And how that too has become an essential part of escapism unnoticed.

Serial lover or love for life?

Sustainability may be the buzzword these days, but you don’t notice much of it in Emily: one serial lover follows the other in rapid succession.

In La Demoiselle d’Avignon, on the other hand, everything revolves around love for a lifetime: intense, all-encompassing and above all lasting.

La Demoiselle d’Avignon (1976)

Imagine: it’s 1976 and your favorite series, La Demoiselle d’Avignon, begins.

Koba, the mysterious Kurlandian princess, comes to France incognito as an au pair, where she meets François, a French diplomat, charming and courteous.

Six episodes full of romance, secrets and charming entanglements. A compact fairy tale that builds up tension episode after episode, until everything comes together in the apotheosis. Koba reveals her identity, François his heart, and you are happy that it ends well. Perfect in its simplicity.

Emily in Paris, 2026

Fast forward to 2026. We’re fifty years later (and older) and Emily in Paris appears on the screen.

Emily in her couture dress, Instagram-worthy cafés and colorful balconies, romance all around her, with numerous misconceptions and constantly missing out on each other.

Season after season, the story is spun out, always looking for new dramas and new crushes. Flashy careers take precedence over relationships. Relationships end as quickly as they began.

Mystery vs Public

Emily’s life is public. Her relationships, her fashion, everything about and around her becomes a spectacle. Mystery? I don’t see any. Even Sylvie, Emily’s chef and representative of my generation in the series, dares to name it: “That’s the thing about your generation, Emily. Not a shred of mystery. The whole world knows where you are all the time.”

While Koba keeps every secret until the right moment: “Chaque secret a son moment pour être révélé.” she says at one point.

Two sentences. Two escape worlds. Or you lose yourself in one: modern and visible, a succession of love rushes. Or in the other: classic, mysterious, and one carefully constructed love.

As Emily shares every step of her love life with millions of viewers worldwide, Koba keeps her secrets until the perfect moment.

It is precisely these differences (mysterious versus public), but at the same time also similarities (misunderstandings and missing out on each other) that connect the ancient and the modern fairy tale. That’s why, when I saw Emily in Paris for the first time, I immediately remembered La Demoiselle d’Avignon.

Paris: two faces

Even Paris shows two faces. Both series take you to the city of lights, but in completely different rhythms and atmospheres.

In its vintage version, Paris is quiet and discreet, and the city acts as a backdrop for mysterious salons, chic palaces, and tranquil gardens.

Emily’s Paris, on the other hand, is flashy, very present and visible to the whole world. Her balcony photos, cafés and outfits are instantly shared with millions of followers. The city will become a stage for drama and glamour, where every detail is judged and liked.

Two faces of Paris, one city: one timeless and subtle, the other modern and drawn-out.

In short, everything about these series exudes escapism: city, mystery, clothing, environment, and above all: love.

Love as fleeting escapism

Can love still really fascinate us today, or has it mainly become a form of fleeting escapism?

How we used to understand love can be seen in the fairy tale of Koba: a full-fledged, rounded experience in which you could dream away in a beautiful love story. Love was for life.

Today, love has often evolved into serial infatuations: short, tantalizing romances that follow one another. Just like the endless scrolling on social media.

You see this again and again in dating programs, where participants are often looking for that instant click. If it’s not there, then it doesn’t feel worth pursuing the date.

Exactly like dating apps, where you swipe away without hesitation as soon as you don’t like a face. Love has become more fleeting and fragmentary. Not for everyone, that is. Let us be clear about that.

Because admit it, somewhere we still long for something profound and lasting. But in our hunger for ever new stimuli, we have forgotten what it feels like to be fully present in something that lasts. Also beyond the pink cloud of love.

This says something about the influence of technology and media consumption on our emotional patterns: we have become accustomed to instant gratification, repetition and superficial experiences. Even in love.

And you?

You walk between the two, and choose which fairy tale you want to experience.

What do you want to surrender to? Emily or Koba? Read part 2 about love as escapism

Emma